Reboot: Week 2

OMG…

I just watched all five Reboot: Week 2 episodes in one night!  Do not attempt this at home, people; I am, after all, a Highly-Trained Professional.  Consequently, while I kept most of the plot points straight, I cannot even begin to tell you what happened on which day. (Insert “sands through the hourglass” joke here.)

MORE ABOUT THE SET

I know, right?  But that’s gonna be one crowded town square, what with Mayor McCheese’s campaign headquarters AND two rival cosmetic concerns setting up shop there.  In other news, I am still woefully underimpressed with the DiMera digs, and I absolutely abhor Jennifer’s house, although I understand that that is the Historic Horton Homestead and as such won’t be redecorated any time soon.  I don’t mind where Marlena and John live, and I actually like Sami’s apartment and the Brady Pub.  And the show is to be commended for not having all the characters take up residence in the same hotel, in which rooms are distinguished from each other by differing linens, as a cost-cutting measure, like some other shows I could name.

MARLENA AND JOHN

As predicted, we quickly learned more about the John’s arrest story, which is even more topical now than it was when they wrote it.  Since we all know He Didn’t Do It (but shouldn’t someone ONSCREEN think he did?), there are two ways this could play out: either Those Evil DiMeras did it (boring), or Brady did it (less boring) BY ACCIDENT (jackpot) and John is covering for him.  Next week had better bring a whole lot more investigating and a whole lot less John huffing, puffing, and blowing houses down.  Also, do not TELL me that John got beat up in the jail; SHOW me John getting beaten up in the jail.

Don’t even get me started again on the kissing; clearly, the show believes I want to see these two eating something unpleasant off each other’s faces, and I suspect there’s nothing I can say to persuade it otherwise.

JACK’S BACK

Jack finally got to do his ‘splainin’, in the blessed absence of NotJack.  All was not immediately forgiven, but don’t you tell ME that that particular handwriting is not on the wall.  The only monkey wrench that could thwart a Jack-Jennifer reunion now would be the discovery that the girl they thought was their daughter is actually related to neither of them, as they were having a conversation filled with subtlety and nuance, while Girlfriend was dialed up to eleven.  Honey, if you’re gonna carry on like that, couldja maybe break some of the ugly tchotchkes in that hideous living room?  And maybe shred the wallpaper while you’re at it?

OTHER COUPLES

The show wisely kept its current and immediate future pairings very clear for newbies for the rest of the week, and this particular newbie thanks it very much. 

Maggie accepted Victor’s proposal, and then we got to see that Victor isn’t exactly the teddy bear he acts like around her. (Actually, last week at the party, his behavior around her bordered on doddering senility; I get that her love makes him A Better Man, but are they going for a total Jekyll and Hyde thing here?)

Nicole accepted a job as EJ’s mayoral campaign manager, or PR person, or something…I was distracted, because EJ was onscreen at the time.  Note to show:  if there’s ever another writers’ strike, just put these two on camera and have them read the phone book to each other.

Carrie became John’s attorney after his entire legal team quit.  As entire legal teams are wont to do.  And we got to spend some time watching her interact with hubby Austin, but I can’t tell you much of what they talked about, because early on in the conversation, the phrase “forensic accountant” was uttered, and I slipped into a coma.  If you have that same problem, you might want to try a little trick I subsequently discovered:  no offense to the current Austin, but it seems this role was once played by Austin Peck, whose work I know from As the World Turns. So when an Austin-Carrie conversation gets too legal-financial-technical, I just mentally superimpose Austin Peck over the current Austin and voila!  Instant unintentional comedy gold!

We dropped in on Sami and Rafe; Sami’s children (other than Will) were, inexplicably, being babysat elsewhere.  What is with this Neanderthal attitude of “did you ask my permission to get a job?”  I thought this Sami character was a serious barracuda-bitch…why is she not slapping this guy’s eyebrows off his face?

Speaking of Sami’s job, there’s a new girl in town named Madison, who has hired Sami and enjoys going toe-to-toe with Kate.  (As, I would imagine, does Sami.)  She is clearly destined to be with Brady, whom I wish I’d paid more attention to last week as he was giving his hooker girlfriend the old heave-ho.  (See what I did there?  “Heave-HO.”  I kill me.)  Madison is clearly a keeper, and Brady seems to be much more of a gray hat than he appears at first blush.

Do Bo and Hope always wear that much peculiar plaid? And who does that under-five think he is, stonewalling their investigation into her dead grandmother’s affairs?  Scenes that go nowhere are a poor choice for the second week of a reboot…they either need to at least appear to be getting closer to an answer, or be actively thwarted from getting closer to an answer, preferably in some physical, visually impressive way.  Mister Mooney saying that Mrs. Carmichael has accidentally locked the files in the vault isn’t it.

LINE OF THE WEEK

Will, to Sami re: her taking the cosmetics job: “Mom, there are badly made-up women out there, and we need to do what we can.”  Clearly, somebody in the writers’ room is gonna have a field day once this kid’s storyline kicks in.

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ERIC SINGEL is a Philadelphia actor/playwright whose one-man show The Wedding Consultant most recently played at the 2011 Philadelphia Fringe Festival.  He is also a member of Philadelphia’s premiere sketch comedy troupe, the WaitStaff.  He has been watching soap operas since he was a child, and watching seriously since he was a teenager.  Soaps that he has followed include Another World, The Doctors, The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, and One Life To Live. His other blog, Eric’s Daily Horoscope, can be found at http://ericsdailyhoroscope.blogspot.com , and the accompanying vlogs at http://www.youtube.com/user/RickinPhilly .