THE SET
Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? “I can’t wait till Monday, to see what the new set did on Days of Our Lives.” I kid, of course. And it should be noted that this is not the first show to decide that its fictional town needs a town square. Both Bay City and Oakdale had town squares before they rode off into the sunset, although they were both shot in New York, so what they really had was town postage stamps. Salem’s new set is much grander, and, as soon as some of the glitches in shooting on it are worked out, it should serve the show well. Especially since I am pretty sure I heard it mentioned that the new town square has a dome, which will spare us pesky seasonal weather efforts and PDAs in parkas.
MARLENA AND JOHN RETURN
Although I have never watched DOOL, I do follow the soap press, so I know who Marlena and John are (although I am well aware that I could not possibly recount with any accuracy the history of “Who Is John Black/Who Does John Black Think He Is This Week”). I remember when they were let go for financial reasons, and there was not a doubt in my mind that they would be back, as long as there was a show for them to come back to. And the show did a nice job of bringing them back, making us wait the whole first episode for them to appear (although Hope’s “I’ve got a surprise for you” antics wore a little thin). That being a staple of old-school soap opera, why in the world did the show feel compelled to spoil John getting out of the wheelchair in the previews? Any fan who’s seen more than one episode of a soap would know from their entrance on Monday that Tuesday’s episode was going to be all about Marlena and John; what a nice surprise his standing would have been for long-time fans, had it been allowed to remain a surprise.
That said, even as a new viewer, I know that Marlena and John are supposed to have The Loveliest Love That Ever Loved. I do not need to have it proven to me by watching two people Of A Certain Age sticking their tongues down each other’s throats IN THE TOWN SQUARE. Ya know who’s in love? Doug and Julie. Okay, not fair, married in real life. Ya know who’s in love? Maggie and Victor. And I don’t need to see their tongues in the town square to know it. Fortunately, by the end of the week, John had been arrested; one hopes that The Salem Jail doesn’t allow conjugal visits.
SEX
I was going to get to this later, but I didn’t want anyone to mistakenly think I am some sort of prude. I was very happy to see a sex scene in the very first episode. You would be surprised how many other shows forget that sex, love, and romance are their raison d’être. Of course, this particular sex scene being between Sami and Rafe, who are married (to each other), it did not in any way further the plot, which I would have preferred, but it did relieve us of the horrifying hairdo Sami had initially intended to wear to the party, so I was grateful for that. Unfortunately, her dress escaped unscathed.
JACK RETURNS
Gray characters like Jack are what I watch soaps for. Well, okay, gray characters like Jack and really fun villains. Well, okay, gray characters like Jack, really fun villains, and hot guys with no shirts on. But still, gray characters like Jack are right up there. Will he do the right thing or the wrong thing? The noble thing or the expedient thing? We pretty much expect characters like Marlena to do the right thing (unless she’s possessed by the devil); with characters like Jack, it’s a coin toss.
So welcome back, Jack. Hope they let you shave soon.
Now, show, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do: if you want to drag out the “Jack’s back” reveal, you can have him lurk in the background once an episode for as many episodes as you like. If you have him lurk in the background five or six times in the same episode, and if, every time he’s lurking, Jennifer and NotJack are PDAing where he happens to be, you make me feel as though you think I am too stupid to get it the first time, and I get annoyed. If you further have him not even bother lurking, but relying on the magical Cloak Of Invisibility powers of what, for want of a better word, I shall call his beard, and strolling in plain view of other characters who are clearly expected to know who he is (I am pretty sure he gave Maggie a shrimp puff at one point), then you make me feel as though you think I am stupid, and that your characters are stupid.
When he then falls over a staircase and into a cake, you cannot depend upon my gratitude for the destruction of the most hideous cake in the history of baking to blind me to the fact that suddenly the town square is empty, and only Jennifer and NotJack witnessed this fall. Did Bo and Hope not hire staff for this shindig? Surely there was meant to be a cake-cutting (or, in the case of this particular cake, mercy-killing) ceremony later in the proceedings…why does no one seem to care? And it’s not like the cake was in some back alley…oh, I give up.
All of this “direction” having happened, the “writing” takes over. An infant viewing this from its mother’s arms would know that Jack hasn’t been where Jennifer thinks he has. Which begs the question as to why the first words out of Jack’s mouth weren’t “I haven’t been where you think I’ve been”. If he’s not going to say that, how much soapier to have him unconscious from the fall, make Doctor NotJack tend to him, thereby making Jennifer and daughter conflicted, and causing conflict between Jennifer and NotJack. Sigh.
On the plus side, we were subsequently treated to a scene with Jack and one of my favorite ladies on soaps, Judi Evans, whom I have followed through Bay City, Springfield, and Oakdale. In spite of the joy of watching two Highly Trained Professionals work together, we discover only that the writers aren’t yet willing to share where Jack as been, as he imparts this info to Adrienne during a commercial. I do hope the writers at least know where he’s been.
BORIS AND NATASHA
I had been warned as I started watching the reboot that there were one or two loose ends from the previous writing regime still being tied up, so I knew from the get-go not to pay too much attention to the girl wearing entirely too much makeup to be in a hospital. It was kind of Wardrobe to put everyone connected with that subplot in their purple Grrr-Animals™ for those scenes, although I may consequently have missed out on some of what someone called Brady had to say. I perked right up, however, when Kate slithered onto the scene. As I said before, really fun villains, and I do enjoy seeing someone who knows how to really get her bitch on.
In the spirit of the reboot, however, Kate might want to talk to her gay assistant, or whatever he is, about redecorating the DiMera residence, which was one of the least impressive soap opera villain’s-lair sets I have ever seen. Not that I was distracted by it for long, as EJ soon appeared. Now THAT’S soap opera. Clearly a really fun villain, but then the nice gray “I-love-my-kids” scene…if he’d just taken his shirt off, we could’ve called it a week.
That said, the whole “EJ is running for mayor” scene fell kind of flat. Never mind the current mayor persisting in kissing his granddaughter right on the lips, why did they yield the stage and the microphone to EJ so easily? It seems a full fifty percent of the other characters present work in law enforcement…it would have been easy to put a stop to EJ’s announcement without even causing a scene. And it didn’t help to have Boris…er, Stefano, keep telling everyone who would listen what a great job EJ was doing. Um, he’s using English words in English sentences…it’s not like he’s landing a plane with one hand while he does brain surgery with the other.
And from the A-Minor-Quibble-But-Somebody-Should-Have-Picked-Up-On-It Department, at one point, there was an “EJ for Mayor” poster taped OVER the Tom and Alice Horton plaque. I like my villains smart, not stupid, ThankYouVeryMuch.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
This has taken a lot longer than I thought…here are some random thoughts to wrap up for this week:
Bo and Hope being absent “getting the doughnuts” while the mayor business went on struck me as odd. Also, whatever the “Alice Horton bank account” mystery turns out to be, I hope they find a way to incorporate flashbacks.
“Getting the doughnuts” is my new favorite euphemism.
There was some very peculiar camera work during Doug and Julie’s song; it looked as though they had been filmed while the room was empty, then the crowd reactions/dancing added in later.
I realize I’ve not said much about the younger set; it was difficult to sort out who belonged with whom with them all just hanging around at the party. The one who’s about to be gay (Will?) had a very nice scene with Marlena; hopefully cleaning up after his closet door flies off will give her something to do when she’s not baking cakes with files in them. (Note to Marlena: back AWAY from the pea-green frosting.)
Obviously, whatever John’s arrest is all about will become clearer in the subsequent week. Also, I am looking forward to more about Kate’s business venture.
ERIC SINGEL is a Philadelphia actor/playwright whose one-man show The Wedding Consultant most recently played at the 2011 Philadelphia Fringe Festival. He is also a member of Philadelphia’s premiere sketch comedy troupe, the WaitStaff. He has been watching soap operas since he was a child, and watching seriously since he was a teenager. Soaps that he has followed include Another World, The Doctors, The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, and One Life To Live. His other blog, Eric’s Daily Horoscope, can be found at http://ericsdailyhoroscope.blogspot.com , and the accompanying vlogs at http://www.youtube.com/user/RickinPhilly .
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