Reboot Week 5

I am departing from the usual format here in Reboot Week 5 to just list a bunch of questions I have about My New Show.

THINGS ABOUT DOOL THAT ARE MAKING ME GO “HMMM….”

Why are all the hotels in Salem full of reporters who are there to cover a trial that hasn’t started yet?

How is it that John, who is under house arrest, was able to make it to the town square without his ANKLE MONITOR notifying the police?

Why does Marlena just happen to have a dominatrix costume in her closet?  (On second thought, don’t answer that one.)

Whatever will Bo and Hope do now that they are no longer plot devices in The Story Of Maggie’s Eggs? And how is it that all Hope did was put on a pirate hat and costume, and she looks THAT MUCH like Captain Jack Sparrow?

How sick was the actor who plays Maggie of having to talk incessantly like a deranged chicken about “her eggs”?

Did EJ and Nicole actually break up but forget to get a divorce?

Are the writers aware that Election Day is next Tuesday, so this ridiculous mayoral campaign story needs to be wrapped up by then?  (I am guessing not, as Mayor McCheese just now hired Jen to be his,…whatever he hired her to be.  (The thoughts of Nicole chewing Jen up and spitting her out are amusing me beyond all measure.))

Speaking of Jen, do the hair, makeup, and wardrobe people hate this actor?   Old lady hairstyles, colorless makeup, no lipstick, clothes in taupe, beige, ecru, and dull?  This is a pretty woman, when she lets her hair down, puts some makeup on, and wears clothes that come in colors.  Jeebus.

On the flip side, is it just me, or is Maggie consistently the best-dressed woman on the show?  The blue suit, the green leather jacket…is she bringing in her own clothes?  Also, in Friday’s episode, she was wearing two different lipsticks…maybe if the Jen actor is really nice to her, she’ll let her borrow one.

How is it that people are gambling “on those cute boys’ website”?  And why would those cute boys get in trouble for it?  Every third damn character on this show is involved in law enforcement in some way…couldn’t somebody seek legal advice?  Also, posting on somebody’s message board doesn’t make that person liable for what you post.  Also also, you aren’t anonymous just because you’re on the InterNetz.  Also also also, deleting your post from somebody’s message board doesn’t really make t go away/be untraceable.   Clearly, the writers are unfamiliar with the WorldWideInterWebNetz, but, more importantly, their unfamiliarity is making the characters look stupid, and that’s a problem.

Why do they keep propping Caroline up in the same position in front of the Brady Pub bar, when, if they just put her BEHIND it, they wouldn’t have to explain away whatever is immobilizing the actor?

Do I want to know why EJ’s real name is Elvis?  No, I do not.

What is the relationship between Titan and Madhouse Cosmetics? Between Titan and Basic Black?  When I first started watching, I had Brady pegged for the actual pension-fund-embezzler…now he seems to be the shirt-ripper-offer.  (Also, does Victor own a company?  Does Stefano?)

Is there a competition amongst the writers for who can get Brady to rip his shirt off in the most ridiculous circumstances?  (Not that there would be anything wrong with that.)

What the hell was that soft porn scene with Madison greasing up Brady all about anyway?  (Again, not that I’m complaining.)  She didn’t need a “model”, as the only picture ever taken was a cell phone pic that she deleted.  What she seemed to need was a focus group, which is not comprised of one person.  The intelligence-insulting quotient was getting very high here, show.  Unless she’s setting him up for a sexual harassment suit, because Titan owns Madhouse, I fail to see what you’re up to.  (Again, not that I’m complaining.)

“Greasing Up Brady” could totally revitalize the Brady Bunch franchise. Just a thought.  (Which I realize is not a question.)

Really?  Dueling French maids costumes?  Who under forty even knows what that is?  Also, if someone unexpectedly grabs you from behind, you don’t generally let them stick their tongue down your throat without a fight.  Just sayin’.

Why do Rafe and EJ have the same wig on?  Did I never see them in a scene together?  Is it literally the SAME wig, and hence a cost-cutting measure?  Or is someone going to mistake one of them for the other and kiss them?  If so, could it be Dangling Chad (aka Tall Dreamy DiMera (as opposed to Tall Dreamy DiMera With The Accent))?

Imma wrap this up, so I can go watch Part Two of Halloween.